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The Solitary Path

A Road That Need Not Be Traveled Alone

A Fountain of Unity for Solitary Witches

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June 2nd, 2009

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I haven't done anything in a long long time to feed my soul. I want to start some sort of group, maybe in my basement, just to talk about all our different ideas. Yet I don't. I think I might be afraid to headline something like that. All eyes on me for direction and I can't give one. I think I just need to put it out there and do it.

I am losing faith. The older I get, the more I realize that there probably isn't a great mystery, the more I think we're just meat sacks awaiting oblivion. But....we exist don't we? Something has to be in the drivers seat for that reason.

I have 2 ideas about the design of the thing called god. Which to most people means I haven't made up my mind about it. But thats not the case. I like the idea of a dualistic male deity. So both ideas stand, opposing and one.

May 30th, 2009

It has been a while and it isnt the first time that I have said that here. My life is shifting again, and I find myself longing for more then the skin deep bullshit and surface  surfing that I have been focusing on lately. I need to learn that there is more to life, mystery and magic and romance of the kind that doesn't involve drama.

So as to not overwhelm myself or you I am going to keep this post short sweet and simple.... and leave you with one request:

I am moving into a new apartment and this is a big step for me because i have never lived by myself before. I have enough time before I move in to do a proper blessing/protection/cleansing ritual in it. I really want to fill the place with good strong female energy as this is a step I am taking to become a more independent woman and I think that I am going to recruit some of the strong pagan women in my life to help me. Other then the traditional smudging, does anyone have any ideas they would like to share about what I could do during this ritual?

September 9th, 2008

Release Ritual

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So, I am in pain. I am inlove and I need not to be... it hurts too much. Every morning I wake up thinking about him and then I have to reconvince myself that I need to not think of him that way. I need to get over him. He isnt right for me, not now. Everyday a roller coaster. If he weren't a hardcore atheist I would say that he had put a spell on me... but really its just because I cannot get closure from this man no matter how hard I try. The situation is complicated of course, he is in Iraq at the moment and I am living in his house and helping rent his rooms to others and taking care of it while he is gone... life right? Fucked up I tell ya.

Anyways, Full moon I want to have a ritual. Something to release and find closure. I was talking to a fellow pagan at work the other day and she suggest fire at first but that seemed to permanant... and final. Its a tender situation that needs to be handled just right. We settled that a burial with a planting would be good. Thats as far as I have gotten.

Any suggestions?

July 5th, 2008

Fireworks.

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I missed them last night. I don't know what it is about them that I like so much, but I have a feeling it is because I am a fire sign.... and more importantly a Sagittarius.  Somehow I can asscoiate with something that shoots up into the air and in a grand explosive display bursts into colour and light and fire and then, spent, fade and slowly float to the ground scorched and torn, yet somewhat vindicated.

Wow. Image.

I could hear them a bit from my place and I caught a few from walking around the building and looking out my bedroom window. I felt cheated though because I lost track of time and was cleaning the kitchen when I should have been finding my place on the stonearch bridge with the other people pretending to be patriotic just to see some pretty lights.

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apove line is X-posted in my personal journal

So I was feeling antsy, because I could hear them all over, but I didnt have a clue where they were coming from (or which way to walk to better see them, thinking if I did walk somewhere it would be over by the time I got there) and my room mate had all gone to the pub (which I had been invited to but somehow being the only sober person it didn't seem appealing) so I took the oppurtunity to have a ritual of sorts... to calm me down more then anything, although I had higher goals of having a ritual to have inner clarity (everything is a little fuzzy inside of me right now, a huge chapter in my life has just concluded and I am a bit lost), calming myself down was a fine enough effort.

The interesting thing is, you know the whole build up before hand, setting everything up, you are getting ready to do something kinda important so you get medatative and rythmic about your actions. This happened as normal, however because I have kinda lost my... I dont whanna say faith but for lack of a better word, I have lost my faith in grander schemes and powers that be as of late so skyclad walking around the house I am wondering the whole time if I am just going through all the motions and do I really believe in it all.... so the interesting thing, getting back to that.... As soon as I lit the insense I felt tingly, and then I just felt like I was doing the right thing whether I believed it or not and kept going... I never questioned the tingly feeling until I layed down to 'heal' a bit with a stone spread on my chest, Apache tear (black obsidian, gentler) and Onyx. I suddenly thought, all this time and I have had a presence and ignored it until just now... perhaps the stones were helping me see a bit, Obsidian is known for that. I don't know, I have just been not connected to the whole, and it was strange to think that maybe I broke through the wall a little bit... why it is strange? Because I have been feeling so disconnected that I thought there was nothing to connect to anymore... and had I really ever been connected before or was I always just going through the motions then too. I felt connected and pleased when I went to bed but I woke up unhappy. The stone therapy might be a sign of that because obsidian drums up and unbottles negative emotion so it can be experienced and disperse.

Also, I scryed a little bit with my ball (clear quartz, my ex-husband had given it to me for a wedding present and I have been questioning whether I should keep it or not, incase I may have negative attachments in it) and I got horses. In my head I got an image of four white horses pulling a white covered carriage with a man, in full uniform, and we are talking white wig blue velvet vest and tan pants (someone remind me what era this is from) and he help a musket as this carriage charged towards me. He was standing and aiming it at me. In the ball I saw white horses that were free, running as they pleased, but in slow motion.

All these things seem really small but they make me want spirituality back in my life... some kind of calming connection with something.... whether I believe there is a goddess and god or not... I kinda just use them as archetypes to better connect with something more abstract I guess... just energy. Does anyone out there truly believe there are gods and goddesses hanging out out there?

 

February 19th, 2008

Housecleaning

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I went through the list of people who belong to this community and I extricated those who were inactive.
There was a time when I would individually welcome everyone that has joined... and there has been a few lately... SO Welcome. Please feel free to post.... and maybe help keep this baby alive (as it kinda has died and been rejuvenated a couple times).

February 18th, 2008

You'd think as big as the metroplex of DFW sprawls, there would be solitary practitioners underfoot. I think that, for reasons of employment (it's still the Bible Belt and 59 years on a rosary probably won't change most attitudes here) and the matters of the mundane, there are a lot of us but we're back in the broom closet, so to speak.

When I moved briefly to northern Oklahoma, I met another solitary who ran a small herb and tea outfit; she catered to the 'natural remedy' folks but if you looked closely and hard enough there was plenty of pagan supplies. I used to spend my lunch hour up there just because it was another person who 'knew' what it was like to always be a bit on the outside. It seems there are at least 2 covens operating out of that area; a bit surprising to me. I met the High Priestess of one of them; she had at least 10 years on me and I'll be 51 this year. Dimes to doughnuts she was a Ceremonialist at one time, but that's mainly my gut instinct kicking in.

There's an active group at CUUPS but for reasons that are my own, that 'crew' left a rather strange taste in my mouth. My husband and I have attended some solstice meetings and what seems to be the main item of talk and concern is when will Scott Cunningham be reincarnated and how soon so and so is going to be an HP. It's just nothing that either he or I can identify with. The few we're most close to are in Oklahoma. We're lucky if we get to see them once a year; gotta make that money and pay that mortgage. After all, watching The Secret and following its' advice will only take you so far on mortgage payments and getting the dishwasher loaded. Mundane stuff.

I've finally landed a decent job up in Denton, where I'm sure 'alternatives' abound. Most of the folks I work with directly are a Christian enclave if ever there was one. I've got more in common with the direct care staff who are sporting thousands of dollars of skin art and who are gay/lesbian. That's alright by me; I just have to try to be as unobtrusive as possible. I caught more than one remark about my medicine bag and my AIM jacket. I can take a hint. Don't have to like it, but better to take heed and 'appear' to get in line than to openly defy the status quo up there.

Too tired to write any more. Sounds like everyone is in the middle of a mixed bag; either it's fairly easy to find like minded others who are unattached to a group, or it's not. So it goes.....rk

February 2nd, 2008

I asked the powers of the Elements and the Gods and Goddess to watch over and aid in my creating. While I sat at my easel working on an already work in progress (one I was having difficulty finishing) my alter blazed away beside it. Earlier yesterday I attended a circle with friends of mine, and we charged work tools... I charged my paint brush on suggestion from the hostess. It was a good experience.... the day was a good day... until I did my taxes but thats a post for a different journal.

February 1st, 2008

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I was out the other night with friends. And I met some new people, one of which was a friends older sister. A Wiccan woman named Stacy. Now my friend thought that sense we shared some of the same beliefs, we'd get along famously. Well...we barely talked all night.
Both of us solitaries. Although we enjoyed the others personal artwork, tattoos, we just....didn't have anything to say to each other.

Anyone ran into this sort of situation?
Do you think we'd open up a little more upon further meetings?

December 19th, 2007

Reverend Maynard

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Hey everyone. There is life in this community yet!
I just wanted to share this...song?...
It's from Puscifer, Maynard's (from tool) new project.
Just the lyrics here; if you get the chance to listen to it, it's hilarious. Done like a holy roller type preacher and if you are a maynard fan you'll get the joke.

Sour GrapesCollapse )

September 4th, 2007

Wow, yeah...

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So the last time I posted was in January. And frankly that is probably the last time I gave any kind of consideration to my spiritual path more then just a passing "I really should...."
Its sad really. I have an alter. Its in the corner of my bedroom. I don't remember the last time I lit any of the candles or a stick of incense. I am just now coming to grips with the life on the more corporeal side of life.... it is sad that it takes accepting everything else in order to give myself time to think about this.

I need to start taking the time too meditate again but I have gotten into such a habit of business that it is hard to find the time to really sit down for a good long period and just be. So, until I do find a block of time I am going to make a list of small steps that I can take to at least relax and focus on the beauty around me and maybe as I am doing so give a nod the energies that be.
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